For 14 years I served on the City Council in Bowling Green, Ohio—1992-2006.

I learned a lot over that time. I saw the beginning of a trend that has me thinking this week, sparked by an op-ed from Bill Porter in PR Daily. (Bill is the co-founder of Porter Novelli).

What I saw emerge over those 14 years was an increasing inability for people to disagree civilly and then return to being neighbors and fellow community members.

When there were disagreements, they were less about the issue. The fights were personal. And people didn’t argue about the issue as much—they questioned each other’s motives.

This trend played out neighbor to neighbor and it played out community member to elected official. If someone wasn’t getting what they wanted, it wasn’t because a choice had to be made. It had to be some kind of corruption or favoritism.

The problem is a dirty little secret of politics: when people tell you there’s always a middle ground or a consensus, they are wrong. Sometimes two groups have directly divergent interests and someone has to choose.

You can imagine the impact that can have in a small community when you try to forge a broad consensus around the ideas in your city and you’ve got this toxicity seeping in, issue by issue. And that was 15 years ago.

Let’s bring Bill Porter in.

Bill Porter (co-founder of Porter Novelli) has an op-ed on PR Daily that looks at the extent to which toxic speech is dividing our county.

He cites a wide variety of (in his words) “barnyard” language, everything from Trump calling the media “absolute scum” to Pelosi calling McConnell “Moscow Mitch.”

We might be tempted to put our hands up and say we stay out of politics, but he cites Christine Porvath of Georgetown, in noting that incivility is increasingly becoming a problem in workplaces.

In other words, it is seeping into the world we live in—making it relevant to every organization in America.

The article is excellent and you should definitely check it out.

I’d like to add a couple of additional thoughts.

It matters because we need a healthy ecosystem to thrive

Because a toxic environment is not sustainable. Dump something in the ocean and a certain fish dies and then the fish that eats that fish doesn’t flourish and then the organisms that survive symbiotically weaken and you end up with a bunch of fetid water.

If your ability to discuss challenging issues or deliver unpleasant news with any stakeholder (as envisioned in Resilient5) is being impacted by incivility (and the mistrust from which it spawned), that’s not going to be sustainable in an increasingly chaotic and unpredictable world.

We have to continue to disagree…but the right way

There will be a natural tendency to just withdraw. We can’t do that. We have to deal with disagreements and unpleasant news. As difficult as it is, we can’t hide.

The sad reason is that toxic speech is prevalent because in the short term it works. Like an opiate, it can ease the pain for a minute. But it doesn’t cure the pain and you end up addicted to it.

As Porter says, there is a right way. Remember that “words matter.” Focus on the issue, not the people. Use facts responsibly. Be firm, factual, and gentle. Don’t back people in a corner and don’t question their motives.

Is there any hope for an approach like this?

I wish I was more optimistic.

Having said that, I know what will happen if we (as professional communicators) don’t take the lead on this. We will continue to descend down a spiral staircase.